Gossip Girl: The Next Generation
by theflamingfangirl
Summary: Henry Bass is all grown up with scandals of his own to worry about. Of course his life is dramatic; he takes after mom and dad, after all (but pretty much all of the characters are OCs because any other children of the main characters would be at least four years younger than Henry as they were not in the 'Five Years Later' thing)
1. Chapter 1

_Welcome back Upper East Siders. _

_As you may know, the end of the summer has always held a special place in my heart. Another year brings new books, new clothes, and new drama. Though last year's troubles may have been forgiven and forgotten during time spent apart, tensions are certain to resurface among our favorite socialites once they are sharing the same city once again. After all, in the Upper East Side, there is no such thing as a clean slate. _

_Let's recap the gossip, shall we?_

_After her dramatic break up with Wesley Morgan at the end of the school year, Laurel Sinclair has been flying solo this summer. But as summer draws to a close, the Princess of Manhattan must return to face the city without her prince. One question lingers in all of our minds: how will school carry on without its alpha couple? _

_The Holbrooks and the Fairfields spent most of the break at their summer homes in the Hamptons. Rumor has it; Teddy spent his entire summer following Paige around like a puppy. It's not much of a rumor really, considering most of us could have guessed that on our own. You'd think, after eight years of rejection, poor Teddy might take a hint and move on. All I can say, is it must have been painful to watch your true love make out with other guys for two months, in a bikini, no less. You can look, T, but you can't touch. _

_And of course, Henry Bass has been hitting it off with the ladies of Cabo this summer, though he didn't stick with any one of them for long. While his friends worry about their failed romantic escapades, leave it to the king of the three-day-girlfriend to spend the warm months getting friendly with foreign women. It's comforting to know that some things never change. _

_But as always, I've saved the best info for last. An inside source tells me a new family has relocated from California to the Upper East Side. Delia Beaumont, a wealthy socialite who's made marriage her hobby, has moved across the country for a "new beginning" after her most recent divorce, bringing her two children in tow. Declan and Sloane will be soon be attending St. Jude's and Constance, respectively, as juniors alongside Henry, Laurel, and the rest of the group. It's impossible to tell how the twins will fit in among our favorite Manhattanites, but no matter what happens, this is bound to be interesting._

_It's clear that a year filled with secrets, lies, and scandal awaits us, and I promise to keep you updated on all of the juiciest and dirtiest details. Get ready, New Yorkers, because class is back in session. You know you love me. XOXO Gossip Girl._

x

"King of the three-day-girlfriend," Wes commented, handing Henry his phone back. "That's a new one."

"I like it," Henry replied. "It has a nice ring to it, don't you think? It's better than 'Baby Bass' anyways. I hate that."

"Oh c'mon; your parents are Gossip Girl legends," Wes argued. "Your mom and dad were, like, the main focus of the original blog; it only makes sense the she'd pay a tribute."

"I know that; I've read Classic Gossip Girl, and I do _not_ want to think about my parents doing any of that stuff. I mean, they're my _parents_. It's just gross." Henry shuddered. "But anyways, I get that they were pretty exciting back in the day, but is it really necessary to say I'm related to 'the famous Chuck and Blair' in every other post?"

"But… you are related," Wes said.

Henry rolled his eyes. "A fine point, Wesley. I realize that my parents are, in fact, my parents, but I don't think that's my defining quality. There's been what, three Gossip Girls since Mom and Dad were newsworthy? I can't be taken seriously if all people see when they look at me is the son of powerful and influential people. Ideally, I'd like to be seen as powerful and successful myself, but at least I'd like to lose 'Baby Bass'. I'm not a child."

Wes looked out his window. "Well, simply considering that we've just pulled up to a high school, where you will be a student for another two years, I'd say that you are, by most standards, considered to be a child."

"Someone's feeling contrary," Henry said, pulling open the car door.

Wes followed Henry up the steps that led to the conjoined campuses of St. Jude's School for Boys and Constance Billard School for Girls. Wes was not thrilled about the beginning of the school year; he'd quite enjoyed the summer he'd spent holed up in his apartment and was not looking forward to nine long months of learning and homework and social politics. There was one thing in particular he dreaded the most; something he'd been dreading all summer. Henry noticed Wes glancing nervously over his shoulder and smirked. "What's the matter; are you afraid to see Laurel?"

"Of course I'm afraid of her," Wes agreed. "She's terrifying. Last time I saw her she threw a potted plant at my head."

"You did dump her." Henry pointed out. "Without warning. At her birthday party. In front of her friends and family. I may not be a relationship expert, but even I can tell that was a dick move."

Wes shifted uncomfortably. "I know I should have let her down easier, but it just… wasn't working, I guess. I don't know."

"See this is why I don't do long term relationships," Henry said. "It's too complicated. Hey; at least now that you're single I can take you to strip clubs and you won't get all uncomfortable."

"Um, hooray, I guess," Wes said.

x

"Oh my god, I am going to kill him."

"You're not going to kill anyone."

"No seriously, I'm going to stab that son of a bitch."

"Killing people is wrong, and you don't have time to worry about a murder charge." Paige patted her best friend on the arm. "Besides, we decided not to waste any of your thoughts and emotions on Wes. He's just a boy."

Laurel pouted. "But he dumped me."

"That was months ago," Paige reminded her. "I'm not saying you should have gotten all the way over it, but you need to focus on moving forward. On a similar note, Wes has been your friend since kindergarten. Do you think, maybe, you might consider forgiving him? You know it was really out of character for him to break up with you like that."

"You mean, you think I can get him back?" Laurel said, perking up.

"That's not even _close_ to what I'm saying," Paige said. "I think I'd prefer if you killed him. No; you definitely should _not_ get back together, ever, but I think you guys should try to be friends. You maintained friendship successfully for eight of the ten years you've know the kid, and I think you could go back to that place."

"This is probably your dream come true," Laurel grumbled. "You never liked us together anyways."

"I didn't," Paige agreed. "As I've told you many times, it was a really weird relationship. As cheesy as it sounds, there was no chemistry. At all. I mean, you guys _liked_ each other, but you didn't seem to_ love_ each other. I've known you guys for a long time and I love you both dearly, but you and Wes are _definitely_ better off as friends."

Laurel groaned in protest.

If anything, Laurel Sinclair was an idealist. She always expected things to work out on their own, and got easily upset when they didn't. Even when they were little, she'd been a dreamer; the petite, golden haired princess of her own personal fairy tale. With her sunny outlook and a heart the size of her head, Laurel tended to see the world as what she wanted it to be, rather than what it was; and that's why she needed Paige to look out for her. With her tall, slim figure and reddish hair, Paige had always been the sensible one, the level headed one. She was everything Laurel was not.

Laurel was outgoing. Paige was reserved.

Laurel was always in a hurry. Paige was neat and organized.

Laurel had her head in the clouds. Paige had her feet on the ground.

It shouldn't have worked, but somehow, they made a good team. If they hadn't become friends, it was likely they'd both be outsiders. Laurel was charming and sweet, but too spacey; and Paige understood the workings of people, but was too cautious to have navigated the school's social hierarchy by herself. Separate, they would have been lost, but together, they were unstoppable.

"Well I wish he didn't look so good, then." Laurel sighed. Paige turned to see Henry Bass climbing the stairs behind her and Wes Morgan trailing behind him. Henry looked like he always did: dark hair, strong jawline, cocky grin, and a perfectly pressed uniform. He looked a little bit tanner, but otherwise no change there. Wes, on the other hand, seemed to have gotten even taller over the summer and looked more mature. He'd grown in to himself; even his tousled blonde hair seemed to suit him better. Even though Paige would never ever consider dating him (the girl-code prohibited it, and she was also just… not attracted to him), she had to admit he looked great. Paige thought it was incredibly impolite to Laurel that he got hotter since they broke up.

Suddenly, Wes's face drained of all color; apparently he'd seen Laurel. It occurred to Paige that he'd probably been dreading the first day of school as much as Laurel had. They watched as Wes slowly made his way over to where the girls were standing. He looked like was going to pass out. "Um… hello. H-how was your summer?"

Laurel flipped her blonde curls over her shoulder. "Oh you know, just trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart."

"Oh, right." Wes glanced around like he was ready to bolt. "Um, I'm really sorry about that. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything."

"Well you fucked that up," Paige told him.

"I know I did. I didn't mean to be a jerk, I swear," Wes stammered. "I just didn't know how I was supposed to break up with you, and so I just said it, but I guess I did it wrong. I just… I'm sorry."

"Whatever," Laurel replied. She grabbed Paige by the hand. "C'mon Paige, we have better places to be."

"I'm sorry," Wes repeated, but they were already gone.

x

_Spotted: conflict between the two ex-lovers. Nothing serious so far, but we all know friction is the first step to starting a fire. Let's just hope Golden Boy doesn't go up in flames. Oh Wes, apology not accepted._


	2. Chapter 2

"That… could have gone better," Wes said, looking dazed. "I realize it was unrealistic to think she might have completely forgiven me, but a part of me still hoped."

"It could have gone much worse, though," Henry reminded. "She could have gone crazy and pushed you down the stairs, or she could have cried and made a scene. Frankly, the cold shoulder is a pretty decent reaction on Laurel's part."

"I guess you're right," Wes sighed. "But I just-"

A girl suddenly appeared behind him and grabbed his arm, cutting him off. "Hey guys, this is Constance and St. Jude's, right? I just want to make sure I'm at the correct prep school before I go to class or anything."

"Um, yeah; you're in the right place," Wes said, looking a bit surprised. "Constance is on the right and St. Jude's on the left."

The first thing Henry noticed about the girl was that she did not fit in. She was very pretty, dark-haired and long legged with big blue eyes; but her skirt was crooked, her blouse untucked, her tights ripped, her tie uneven, and her hair a tangled mess. She certainly didn't look like any of the other girls who walked by in polished, color-coordinated outifts. Henry raised an eyebrow. "Are you a student here?"

"Duh," the girl said, gesturing to her uniform. "Do you think I'd wear this get-up on purpose? I look fucking ridiculous."

"You certainly do," Henry agreed.

The girl eyed him suspiciously. "I'm Sloane, by the way."

"Oh right. Sloane Beaumont!" Wes said. "You're one of the twins from the blog post this morning, aren't you?"

"I'm from the what!?" Sloane backed away slowly. "Are you two creeps stalking me?"

"No, it was on Gossip Girl," Henry explained. "It's this blog that writes about all of our lives."

Sloane looked confused. "Who the hell runs this blog and how do they know me? I literally just got here three weeks ago."

"Well, we don't actually know who Gossip Girl is," Henry said. "It's kind of complicated. The _original _Gossip Girl was my step-uncle, Dan Humphrey. He created the blog back when my parents went to school here, but he stopped posting once their group of friends settled down. Everyone thought that was the end of Gossip Girl, but then a few years later, someone started posting again, about a new group of students. It turned out to be Melanie Bennet, who hacked the site when she was a sophomore and became the new Gossip Girl. Then nine months after _she_ stopped posting, another Gossip Girl popped up. Gossip Girl three was revealed to be Jane Fernandez, the nanny of two students, Pierce and Hannah Cabot. She actually held on to the blog for almost eight years because she focused on_ both_ of the kids she watched, so when Pierce graduated, she just moved on to Hannah. But eventually, those kids grew up too, and Jane gave up the blog. And then, near the end of eighth grade, the fourth Gossip Girl appeared, the Gossip Girl we have now. She mainly follows me, and Wes, and our friends, and we haven't the faintest idea of who it might be."

"So this Gossip Girl just posts stuff about your day to day activities?" Sloane asked. "Doesn't that get… boring?"

Wes shrugged. "It hasn't so far. I guess we lead pretty interesting lives. But it is pretty annoying to have a judge-y blogger broadcasting everything we do to the entire internet. I mean, it feels like I have no privacy. Gossip Girl knows all, sees all, and then writes it up into cleverly worded paragraphs and posts them on her blog."

"That's invasive and horrible!" Sloane said, grinning hugely. "How can I view this blog? It sounds wildly entertaining."

Henry grabbed her phone and started adjusting her settings. "I'm programming it so you get updated every time there's a Gossip Girl blast. Pretty much everybody at school does."

"Thanks, man," Sloane replied.

Wes looked around. "Wait... aren't you supposed to have a brother? Dylan or something?"

"Oh right, forgot about him for a second." Sloane turned around and started waving frantically a black town car parked about fifty feet away. "Declan was waiting in the car because he was convinced we were at the wrong school. That's why I came up and asked you in the first place."

A boy in a St Jude's uniform emerged from the car and bounded up the stairs to meet them. It was easy to tell that Declan and Sloane were twins. They were both tall and narrow and shared the same fair skin, wide blue eyes, and nearly black hair. Sloane grabbed her brother by the arm, pulling him in front of her. "Guys, this is Declan. Declan, these are two guys I just met, and I realize now I know neither of their names… Who are you two, again?"

"Wes Morgan and Henry Bass," Wes supplied.

"These are Wes Morgan and Henry Bass," Sloane announced.

Declan waved shyly. "Hi."

"Wait, should we be getting to class?" Sloane asked. "What time does school start?"

"You've got four and a half minutes," Henry responded, looking down at his watch. "So you should probably think about finding your classes."

"Right." Sloane pulled out her schedule. "Does anyone know where Mrs. Falkner's science class is?"

"It's the first door on the left of the Constance hall," Henry answered over his shoulder as he walked towards the school. "You can't miss it."

Sloane tilted her head and watched him go. "Well, thanks, I guess."

"Don't mind him," Wes reassured her. "He's always like that."

Declan looked up from his schedule. "Um, I've got AP Geography with Mr. Hanesly."

"Hey, I'm in that class!" Wes said. "I'll walk you down. No problem."

"Oh, thanks." Declan smiled for the first time since they'd met him.

"Alrighty then." Sloane grabbed her backpack and began towards the front door. "I'll see you two at lunch then. Later."

And with that, she walked through the double doors and began her new life at Constance Billard School for Girls. God help her.

x

_I see that the Beaumont twins have arrived in Manhattan. Declan seems nice enough, but Sloane is a whole different story. I can tell already that a bold, direct, and poorly dressed new girl will make a big splash here on the Upper East Side. For good or for bad, it's impossible to say, but she certainly isn't going to fade into the background. She's very pretty, Wes, do I sense a rebound on the horizon? What will Laurel say?_


	3. Chapter 3

The moment the bell rang for lunch, Declan went outside to find Sloane, like he always did. He'd never say it to her face, but Sloane was his favorite person in the entire world. Maybe it was because they'd known each other for their entire lives, but Declan loved her more than anything. She was strong and spontaneous and funny and he could always count on her. Sometimes he counted on her a little too much. But like anyone, Sloane had her faults. One of them was never being_ anywhere_ on time.

"Hey, man." Wes from science class appeared suddenly behind him. "What's up?"

"Oh, um, hi," he managed to get out. Declan resumed frantically scanning the crowd for his sister. Declan had never been great in new situations and he tended to rely on Sloane to be the social one. She'd be thrilled that he was actually conversing with someone who wasn't her; Sloane was always going on about how he needed to branch out and make his own friends. Declan, on the other hand, had long since accepted his pathetic codependency and come to terms with a future of standing behind his sister and not talking. So why the _hell _was this kid talking to him?

"Did you catch what the chem homework was?" Wes asked. "It was something about balancing equations, right?"

Declan tilted his head. "No… we just had to get the course syllabus signed by a parent. You wrote it down, remember?"

"Oh, right." Wes laughed, a little uncomfortably.

At that moment, Sloane burst through the doors and into the school's courtyard, looking as disheveled and energized as usual. Declan breathed a sigh of relief; he had no clue what he would have said next if the conversation had continued.

"Hiya guys," Sloane said. "Where are we sitting?"

Wes cocked. "What?"

"Lunch," Sloane repeated. "Where do you want to sit? Is that angry kid coming?"

Declan mentally smacked himself in the forehead. It was just like Sloane to invite herself to somebody else's lunch plan. Damn her.

Surprisingly enough, Wes looked pleased. "Okay. Well, I think it's just me and Henry over by those pillars, but you guys can join us if you want to."

"Sounds great." Sloane was already on her way over.

X

"What the hell are those two doing here?" Henry asked Wes under his breath.

"I just… invited them to sit with us?" Wes said. "That's a thing that people do."

"We can hear you just fine from where we are sitting, two feet away," Sloane put in.

"Sorry," Wes apologized.

Henry sighed and crossed his arms. "Whatever."

Sloane threw her stuff down on the steps and pulled a bag of chips, a jello, and a flask out of her backpack. Wes and Henry stared at her, and Declan wanted to bury himself alive. Sloane liked to keep liquor on her at all times; partially to gauge people's reactions and partially just in case she got bored. Now these guys were going to think Sloane was some crazy alcoholic.

"What's in that?" Henry asked.

"Whiskey," Sloane answered. "It's my mom's. Want some?"

Henry nodded approvingly and took the flask. "I like the way you think, Beaumont."

Wes looked over to Declan. "Do… you have a flask too?"

"I have a sandwich," Declan mumbled. "It's ham and cheese. Made it myself."

"You made your own lunch?" Wes asked incredulously. "Don't you have somebody to cook for you?"

"My mother doesn't like too many people around the house," Sloane replied. "So we just have a maid come in every day and clean for a few hours and then leave. So mostly it's just me and Declan at our place."

Henry grinned. "You have a lot of parties, then?"

"Planning on it," Sloane said.

"You're lucky," Henry said. "My parents are almost always around and they won't leave me alone. It's unbearable."

"Are you kidding me?" Wes protested. "I wish I had your family. It's huge and exciting and you have, like, a billion aunts and uncles."

"That must be cool," Declan commented. "My mom was an only child."

"So were both of my parents," Henry sighed. "I just have a lot of step-relatives. It's complicated."

"What does that even mean?"

Henry rolled his eyes. "As in my aunt Jenny is technically my father's ex step-step-sister; my uncle Andrew is my step-uncle in-law; and my cousin Violet is the child of my mother's best friend, Serena, who is also my father's adopted step-sister, and my father's ex step-step brother, Dan, who also happened to date my mother for a little while, so I don't even_ know_ what she is in relation to me."

"That _is_ complicated," Declan marveled.

Henry smirked. "You're telling me."

X

"Teddy's coming," Laurel said, looking over Paige's shoulder.

Paige groaned. She'd known Teddy Holbrook since she was two years old and their mothers hit it off at a yoga class and instantly became best friends. Since then, the Holbrook's and the Fairfax's had been virtually inseparable. When Paige was six, the two families decided to move into two apartments in the same building, as to avoid what had been a three minute drive between the old homes. They went on vacations together. They drove to school together. They ate dinner together at least twice a week. Paige had seen Teddy at some point during every _single_ day since she was three, excluding exactly four days of solitude due to contagious illness. Everything was shared between the two families. And of course, to make things even more difficult, he'd been in love with her since fourth grade. It wasn't that she didn't _like_ Teddy; he was like family, but she _definitely_ didn't want to date him. His hair always stuck up in the wrong direction, he had to wear glasses because he was allergic to contact lenses, and he was about as skinny as a pencil. Not so attractive.

"Hey Paige, hey Laurel," Teddy said. "How's your first day been going?"

"Fine," Paige shrugged, pushing around her salad with a fork. "Same old, same old."

Teddy nodded and turned to Laurel. "Hey, um, so I saw you talking to Wes this morning, and well, how are you doing?"

Laurel sighed dramatically. "My heart is still broken. He was my first love, you know."

"Hmm," Like Paige, Teddy didn't think Laurel and Wes were a good match. Unlike Paige, he didn't share his opinions with Laurel.

"But, somehow, life goes on," Laurel continued. "So this year I've decided to renounce the temptations of boys and focus on myself."

"Well good for you, Laurel." Teddy turned to Paige. "So are you also renoun-"

"I will still not date you," Paige interrupted, hardly looking up from her lunch.

Teddy shrugged amicably. "It's worth a shot."

"It really wasn't worth a shot. The answer will always and forever remain no."

"One day, you might change your mind," Teddy retorted.

"Nope," Paige said. "Don't think I will."

"You can't stop me from hoping," Teddy said, cheerful as ever.

"And so I will continue to strongly discourage you," Paige answered. "Now shoo; I'd like to eat my lunch in peace."

He saluted them and turned back towards the school. "See you after school, then."

"See ya, Teddy," Paige replied. His pathetic attempts to court her never affected their friendship. They had the routine down: Teddy would ask her out, Paige would reject him, and they'd carry on same as usual. It's not like there was any point in avoiding him; she'd have to see him anyways at dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

_Spotted: Wesley Morgan lunching with the Beaumont's at Butters. In case you weren't counting, that makes six outings since the twins' arrival last week, two of which did not include Henry. I spy with my little eye, something going on between Golden Boy and his new-found best friends. Though, Wes seems to only have eyes for a certain pretty, dark-haired individual. Is love in the air, or is that just tension forming?_

x

"Henry? Did something happen between you and Wes?"

"What?" Henry asked, walking into the kitchen and taking a muffin off the counter. "No, I don't think so, why?"

Blair held up his phone.

"Okay, first off, don't take my phone." Henry snatched his phone back and scanned the Gossip Girl blast. "Secondly, everything's fine between me and Wesley. He's just got this strange obsession with those new kids. I suppose Sloane is hot, in an alternative kind of way, but I have no idea why he won't just ask her out already."

"Well, six almost-dates is definitely a step in the right direction," Blair commented. She knew Wes had never been good with girls anyway; it had taken three years and plenty of convincing to coax him to ask out Laurel. She'd never understood why Wes and Laurel hadn't worked out. They were great friends; it should have been perfect, but it wasn't. At least he was branching out, now.

"He must really like her, though, because he still won't come to strip clubs with me." Henry froze. "Not that I go to strip clubs, that is. What even is a strip club? I wouldn't know… Um, I love you mom."

"We do get your credit card bills, you know." Chuck walked into the kitchen and sat down next to Blair. "I am the one paying for the alcohol, and strip clubs, and god knows what else. We decided to wait until you do something stupid to intervene."

"Oh," Henry nodded. "Good to know."

"Son, as I've gotten older I've realized that I should focus on my own affairs," Chuck told him. "You have your business, and I have mine."

Blair snorted. "As you've gotten older? You're thirty-eight."

"Mentally, though," Chuck argued. "We have a sixteen year old son, we're approaching our eighteenth wedding anniversary, and we've both been running successful businesses for years. Don't you feel much older and wiser than thirty-eight years? Fifty-five, at least."

"Just because we got a head start on our lives doesn't mean we need to age prematurely," Blair scoffed. "I hope I don't look fifty-five to you."

"If I was a random passerby, I'd think you were twenty," Chuck told her, "but as I am not a random passerby, I know that you're even more beautiful now then you were back when you _were _twenty years old. Actually, judging by how you've aged so far, I_ wish_ you looked fifty-five because by that point you will surely look even more spectacular than you do now."

Then he kissed her.

And he kept on kissing her.

"No!" Henry shouted, clapping a hand over his eyes. "Nope, we agreed you guys would contain your romantic encounters to within your own room and keep it PG in the rest of the house. You signed a contract; it is framed on the wall. It's disgusting and I do not want to be present. Nobody else's parents do it as much as you two; none of the other kids have to worry about _their _mom and dad getting it on in the kitchen. God, you're like_ bunnies_."

"You have to leave for school anyways," Blair commented. "You should probably get a move on, don't you think?"

"I'm gone," Henry called on his way out the door.

"He reminds me of you," Blair said once Henry was gone. "And of me. It's kind of scary, actually. It's like he's what would happen if you and I-"

"-got married and had a baby?" Chuck asked with a smirk.

"Well, yes," Blair admitted. "But it's still weird how alike he is to both of us. He's got my ambition and your edge."

"An uptight over achiever like you and a womanizing asshole like me."

Blair nodded. "And of course he can be manipulative, scheming, and vengeful when he needs to be, which I guess he got from both of us."

"He also inherited our class and good taste," Chuck pointed out.

"That kid's going places," Blair said proudly.

"Our genes combined beautifully."

While both Chuck and Blair were very proud of their accomplishments in the business world, Henry was their pride and joy. He was all of their best qualities wrapped up into one person. He got good grades, he rarely wore anything other than a suit, and he knew how to work the system. At the age of eight, Henry had used bribery and vaguely worded threats to drive his teacher, not only out of his school, but out of the state of New York. When the principal told her the news, Blair had never felt so proud of their young mastermind.

"Oh, Henry said Wes is probably staying over this weekend," Blair said. "He was supposed to tell you himself, but I'm going out on a limb and saying he forgot."

Chuck frowned. "Really, again? He was over here last weekend too. Are his parents away again?"

Blair shrugged. "No, I think they're_ still_ away. Somewhere in Eastern Asia, I think."

"His parents don't give a shit about him."

"I know," Blair sighed. "That's why we have to."

Wes had been staying over at least once a week since he was eight. After years of sticking him on the couch, Blair finally caved in and officially gave Wes the guest bedroom. His mother and father were rarely home, and when they were they either yelled at him or ignored him. So Wes slept over at the Bass's place. He was always really apologetic about it, but nobody ever minded him; he was a lot more chatty then Henry and insisted on cleaning everything. For all practical purposes, they'd already adopted him.

"Wait a second," Blair said. "Why are we talking about the kids? Henry's gone, and my clothes are still on. Why is that."

"Right. Less talking, more sex," Chuck agreed, picking up where they'd left off earlier.

X

_When two people get married and have a child at the age of twenty-three, one might worry that romance would fall through the cracks. Clearly that's not an issue in the Bass household, much to poor Henry's dismay. Hey, at least they're keeping the marriage alive._


	5. Chapter 5

"For god's sake Sloane," Declan called up the stairs. "We are going to be late! Again!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming," Sloane replied, yanking on her sneaker. She hated to admit that without her brother, she'd probably show up an hour late to everything. She just wasn't a punctual person.

"Come on," Declan whined. "We're supposed to be there at seven, and it's already six fifty-two."

Sloane flew down the stairs and into the elevator, punching the button that would take them to the lobby. "So, what you mean to say is that we aren't even late?"

"No, we are late," Declan corrected. "The party started at six thirty, but Wes told us to be fashionably late and come at seven. The Bass' place is at least ten minutes away, and there will inevitably be traffic. Why can't you just be on time? We're going to make a terrible first impression and never get invited anywhere ever again."

"Stop worrying; it's a casual dinner invitation. It's not like we're meeting the President."

"Oh you're right, it's just some of the wealthiest and most powerful people in the city," Declan answered. "No biggie."

The doors opened in the lobby and Sloane rolled her eyes. "Spare me the dramatics. It's the parents of a kid from school and some of their friends. You're acting like we're crashing the party; we were invited. Over text. It can't be _that _big of a deal."

"According to Wes, these friends include a senator, a successful author _and_ screenwriter, and the former mayor. Not to mention Henry's mom and dad who own Waldorf Designs and freaking Bass Industries, respectively."

"Big whoop." Sloane slid into the car waiting for them outside the building. She turned to the driver. "Hey Kevin. Could you take us to the Empire Hotel?"

"Yes it is a big whoop!" Declan argued. "Bass Industries is worth nearly two billion dollars! Two. Billion. Dollars. These people are not some which you would like on your bad side. Like, if you offend them, they could kill you and make it look like an accident."

Sloane snorted. "Please; Wes said that they're all super nice. And we're not exactly hicks from the sticks, either; in case you haven't noticed, we kind of have a lot of money."

"But mom made her fortune through trust funds and divorce settlements," Declan said. "These people are actually important."

"I'm telling her you said that."

"Don't you dare," Declan warned.

Kevin, their driver pulled up to the curb of the Empire. "We're here."

Sloane hopped out of the car. "Thanks Kev. Declan, if you don't hurry up, we'll be late."

"Oh so now you're concerned about the time."

X

Henry had always enjoyed parties. He obviously preferred the kind with loud music and an open bar and scantly clothed girls, but even his parents more mellow soirees were entertaining. He supposed hosting and attending parties came with the environment of the Upper East Side, ingrained within him like Italian suits and Dom Perignon. The Bass family and various members of their circle regularly held little get-togethers, at least twice a month for as long as Henry could remember. Tonight, nearly every family friend they had had showed up.

And Wes, also in attendance (though without his parents), had insisted they invite the weird twins and their mother. Henry had attempted to discourage this momentary lapse in judgment, but his mom had immediately agreed with Wes and invited them, which was really a poor decision. That girl, Sloane, bothered him especially. Even after weeks of hanging around her (on Wes's insistence, of course), he found her to be audacious and brash and _loud_. Jeez could that girl talk; maybe she spoke so often to make up for her anti-social brother. Sloane wasn't like any girl he'd ever met, or any person he'd ever met, for that matter. Henry never had any idea what she was going to do next.

He hated that.

"They're late," Henry said to Wes. "They are always late. It told you this was a bad idea."

"Shut up," Wes hissed. "I'm sure they'll be here any second."

As if on cue, the elevator slid open to reveal the Beaumont siblings, Declan carrying a bottle of champagne. Blair rushed over to greet the guests. "Welcome! How are you two this evening?"

"Oh we're great, thank you," Sloane responded immediately. "Your home is beautiful."

"Thank you; you're too kind." Blair looked around. "Are your parents not coming? They're definitely welcome to join us, if the invitation was unclear."

Declan shook his head. "No, our mother has a prior arrangement to attend to. And we're… in between fathers at the moment."

"Daddy Number Eight left us for a stewardess back in May, and Mom's still on the hunt for Number Nine," Sloane explained.

"But our mother sends her regards, as well as some champagne." Declan held us the bottle of gold-hued liquid. "It's Cristal; her favorite."

"Well, I'm sure we'll put good use to it," Blair laughed. "My son and some of your friends are around here somewhere…" She spotted Wes and Henry loitering about ten feet away. "Ah, yes. There they are."

Sloane sauntered over to where they were standing. "Sup, bitches. How's it going?"

"Hi Sloane. Hi Declan," Wes said. "It's going pretty good."

"Same here." Sloane nodded. "So, who are all these people? I recognize Laurel and Paige and Teddy, and of course you two, but who are the rest of them?"

Henry looked around the room. "Meet my extended family."

"You're related to all these people?" Sloane asked. "I mean, I know you said you had a huge family, but there are like thirty people here."

Henry figured he should just get the explaining over with. He took a deep breath. "Over there are the Humphrey's, the family of my father's adopted step sister, Serena, and her husband Dan, along with their daughter Violet, who's twelve. The Archibald's, my dad's best friend Nate and his wife Michelle, are here with eight year old Nellie and six year old Mathew. The Kishlovshky's are here too, and while they actually aren't officially related to us, Dorota, my mother's ex-maid is basically family. So that means _her_ family, husband Vanya and kids Anna and Leo, are also like family. And then Georgina Sparks and her son Milo showed up too, which is kind of weird because they weren't actually invited, though they are also technically related to us; Milo was at one point legally Dan's son, though not biologically or practically speaking, making him my ex second cousin in law. And the Holbrook's, the Fairfax's, and the Sinclair's are just friends."

"Seriously?" Sloane marveled. "That's insane. How do you keep everyone straight?"

Henry shrugged. "I just call everybody aunt and uncle. I swear it's not as complicated as it seems."

"No but wait go back," Sloane said. "Are the Archibald's related to you?"

"Um…" This one was always tricky to remember. "Yes. My ex step aunt, Jenny, married his second cousin twice removed or something; it's one of the Vanderbilt's. So I'm pretty sure Uncle Nate is actually related to us in some way, although he is definitely not my actual uncle. I try not to dwell on it too much."

"Well I like Violet," Wes put in. "She's my favorite relative."

"Which one's Violet?" Declan asked.

"Henry's sort-of cousin. She's over there by the window," Wes told them. "She's a sixth grader, but she's like some kind of genius, so she knows, like, every random fact under the sun. She's also kinda mean, but in a funny way. I'll get her to come over."

Wes went and retrieved Violet, a pretty blonde girl wearing a silvery dress. "Guys, this is Violet. Violet, this is Declan and Sloane Beaumont; they go to school with us."

Violet glanced at Sloane's ratty tee shirt and greyish sweatpants and raised one eyebrow. "What are you wearing? Like, where do you even_ find_ stuff like that?"

"Well, I'm not_ totally_ sure where these come from," Sloane admitted with a shrug. "I like to describe my style as 'Sexy Homeless Person'."

"In that case, I congratulate you, because you've got that look nailed down."

"She's certainly a charmer," Sloane told Henry with a grin. "Does it run in the family?"

"Again, no blood relation," Henry reminded. "But yeah, it does."

Violet held up her hands. "Hey no judgment, I'm just pointing it out. It's not like you're ugly, you just aren't dressing in the most flattering manner." Her eyes flitted over to Declan, who'd been silent. "I'm assuming you're Declan? The twin brother?"

"I am," he answered with a little wave.

"You're dressed appropriately," she noticed.

"Thanks," he said. He looked over at his sister. "I tried my best with that one; she just doesn't have a lot of clothes that don't scream either hooker or vagrant drug dealer. It's either skin-tight leather or raggedy sweat suit; there is no in between."

"Oh, you can't judge me," Sloane argued. "You wear the exact same thing every day."

"Not true!" Declan retorted. "I just own a lot of dark colored sweaters."

"You two are funny," Violet said. "I just love sibling dynamics. Sadly, I am an only child, but I have read a few essays on twin studies. Did you know that fraternal twins reared apart have been known to meet by accident and _marry_ each other? It happened to this couple in Germany, and another one in Sweden, because they felt such a strong natural connection that they apparently thought they were soul mates. Weird, huh? It was one of the most strange and mildly disturbing things I have ever read."

"So you _are_ a genius." Sloane grinned. "Do you know a whole bunch of freaky genius stuff then? Like, what's that capital of Gambia? Or who was the twenty fourth president of the United States? Or what's the square root of 657?"

"I'm not a trick monkey," Violet complained. "I just happen to have a high IQ. I don't just go around answering random people's stupid trivia."

"So you don't know the answer?"

Violet rolled her eyes. "Banjul, Grover Cleveland, and 25.63201."

"I told you she was cool." Wes said.

"Never gets old," Henry agreed, ruffling his cousin's hair amicably. "C'mon Poppy, tell us some more shit no one cares about."

Violet scowled and smoothed down her hair. "Yeah right; why would I waste my time talking to you idiots? I would _much_ rather return to the intelligent conversation I was having with Uncle Nate concerning the EU, which you rudely interrupted, by the way. Later losers."

"Love you too!" Henry called after her.

X

_Meeting the family might be fun, but this little get together brings all of our favorites back under the same roof, without any students, teachers, or classes to stand in the way of the drama. I hope everyone remembers their party manners, but if not… well, there's nothing I love more than some good old-fashioned conflict. I can hardly wait._


	6. Chapter 6

After Violet left, they slowly ran out of things to talk about. To make things worse, Wes and Declan had wandered off somewhere, leaving Sloane and Henry sitting all alone on the stairs. Henry had started ignoring her in favor of his phone, she had no clue where her brother had gone, and Sloane was getting pretty bored

"I'm hungry," Sloane announced. "Where's the food?"

Henry waved his hand vaguely towards the next room. "It's over that way."

"Come with me," Sloane said, though it was more of a demand than a suggestion.

"What? No way."

"Oh come on," Sloane complained. "You have to show me where it is."

Henry rolled his eyes. "The food's about twenty feet away; I'm sure you'll find it."

"You have to come with me because I am your guest." Sloane folded her arms over her chest. "I could always tell your mother you're being a bad host."

Henry snorted. "Are you seriously threatening to tell on me to my mom? What are you eight?"

"Oh, so then I should go tell her. She's right over there, I'll just pop over an-"

"Don't," Henry interrupted. He stood up grudgingly. "I'll get you some fucking appetizers."

Sloane grinned. "Aw thanks."

* * *

Laurel, Paige, and Teddy were starting a game of cards. They were playing go fish, because Laurel only knew two card games, the other one being war. These parties were normally fun, but it had been weird since Wes dumped Laurel. They had been a group of five for years, but the break up (though long anticipated) had separated them into two opposing teams. Paige always stuck with her best friend and Teddy pretty much just went wherever Paige did, so they became the first group. Meanwhile, Henry was backing Wes, creating the second group. This was complicated further still by the arrival of the twins, who Wes seemed to have befriended. New people were tricky; they had absolutely nothing to do with Wes and Laurel splitting up, but as long as they were hanging around Henry and Wes, it felt like aiding the enemy to talk to either of them.

The whole damn process made Teddy's head spin. He missed the days when all they had to worry about was spats between Paige and Laurel and Henry hooking up with the wrong girl. This was one of the most significant conflict the group had had, second only to the Great New Years Fiasco of ninth grade (long story), and even then at least everyone _knew_ what they were upset about. This shit was just confusing.

And where did all of this drama leave Teddy? Playing a dull game of cards at a usually fun event. It wasn't fair.

"Got any two's?" Paige asked in monotone.

He was about to tell her that no, he did not have any two's when that Sloane girl came clomping into the kitchen, followed by a murderous looking Henry. Sloane seemed to notice the trio sitting at the table and smiled. "Hey, I didn't know you guys were here, too! How's it going?"

"It's going okay," Teddy answered warily, unsure if this was crossing some invisible line.

Sloane grabbed a drink off the counter and pulled up a chair. "Yeah. Same here. So before I try and talk to any of you, I do not know your names. So you are Laurel, I know that one, you're in my science class. And you are... Ted? And you... um is it Jade? Or maybe... Katie?"

"It's Paige," Paige corrected. "And he goes by Teddy. Not Ted."

"Right, but I was close." Sloane looked over at Henry, who was loitering by the refrigerator. "Dude, aren't you going to sit or something? Because what you're doing now is kind of weirding me out..."

Slowly, Henry approached the table, grabbed a chair, and sat down in it. He folded his arms over his chest.

This was unknown territory. Teddy glanced around the table to gauge everyone's reaction to this surprising turn of events. Laurel looked annoyed. After all, this was the bastard who'd backed up her ex-boyfriend for being a dick, and here he was, sitting across from her. Paige was livid. Teddy knew first hand that she could hold a grudge like nobody's business, and nobody messed with her best friend and got away with it. Henry was trying to play it off like he didn't care, but as a person who'd known the kid since he was six, Teddy could tell he was anxious. As for Sloane? He may not have known her very well, but if Teddy Holbrook was good at anything, it was reading people. To an untrained eye, it might look as though new girl Sloane was unaware of the tension between Henry and the rest of the group, and had invited him over because she assumed they were all buddies. But Teddy recognized the look in her eye; it was the same one Henry got sometimes when he was scheming something terrible. Sloane knew _exactly_ what she was doing. She just wanted to see what would happen.

And in that moment, Teddy was wondering the exact same thing.

* * *

_Spotted: a disaster waiting to happen. The fuse has been lit, Henry, now all that's left is for everything to blow up in your face. Tick tick tick..._


	7. Chapter 7

"Okay, so if we can't play cards, what do you want to do?" Sloane asked.

_Well, I want Henry to leave_, Laurel thought. What kind of bastard sided with a guy who'd dump his girlfriend of two years at her own birthday party? Henry could saunter right out of her life for all she cared, and maybe he could take the Beaumont chick with him. It's not like Sloane was mean or anything, but she was pretty weird. She was a very straight shooter, which made Laurel uncomfortable. But Laurel supposed it was unfair to not even give her a chance, so instead of just leaving she replied. "I dunno, what do you want to do?"

"Drinking game?" Henry suggested.

Teddy raised an eyebrow. "You seriously want to get wasted in front of your parents?"

Henry shrugged. "Not like they've never seen a drunk person before."

"Okay skip the booze, what else?" Laurel prompted.

"Truth or dare?" Paige suggested.

"Ooh, yeah," Sloane said. "I love that game! But we should try for like minimal stripping and hooliganism, because parents."

"Um, okay then," Teddy straightened his glasses. "Does anyone want to go first?"

"I will, I guess," Laurel said. She scanned the table before locking eyes with Henry. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Laurel adjusted her headband, considered her options, and decided to get right into what everyone was wondering anyways. "After, you know, _the Incident_, why the hell did you choose to defend Wes's less-than-chivalrous actions, though surely even you could see that he was being a total dick?"

"Wow, you decided to get right into it, didn't you," Henry said. "Well, Wesley is my best friend, has been for a long time. You all know his parents are crazy and that he stays at my house a lot, I couldn't suddenly turn my back on him. And he wasn't exactly a ball of fun after he broke up with you; he wallowed in his own guilt for like a month. I don't think he's a jerk, I think he was desperate. And besides, it's not like you liked each other anyways."

"Why does everyone keep saying that!?" Laurel snapped.

"Because you didn't," Henry continued. "Frankly, though the execution was poor, I think it was a fantastic idea to break up with you, or else you'd keep dating forever purely out of habit. Believe me, after some time passes, you'll thank him. Relationships are idiotic anyways. I think everyone should just hook up and part ways. No drama, no conflict, no hard feelings, just lots of sex."

"Listen to the love doctor over here," Paige mumbled.

Henry shrugged. "It's the perfect life style. Alright it's my turn… Theodore: truth or dare?"

"Truth, I guess."

"Why oh why haven't you and Paige hooked up already. It's getting pretty old."

Teddy shifted uncomfortably. "Well, um, I've asked her out several times, and she has made it clear that she's not interested. I still like her obviously, because she's smart and kind and funny, but it is completely within her rights to not date me. So, um, I consider her friendship to be too valuable to lose over my romantic interests, so I'm basically just respecting her desire to keep it platonic. And it's not exactly my ideal scenario, but I guess I'm okay with the way things are now."

"That may have been the cutest thing I've ever heard," Laurel gushed. She knew for a fact Paige liked him (well, not a _fact_ fact, but it was a pretty fair assumption). Laurel had been working on making Taige (the couple name she'd coined back in seventh grade) a thing for, like, ever. But Paige remained as stubborn as ever. Laurel suspected that Paige's problem stemmed from her tendency to think up worst case scenarios, namely one involving dating Teddy, breaking up, and then having to stare at him across the dinner table for the rest of her life. But Laurel was convinced that they were just mean to be.

"Is it my turn now?" Teddy asked. "Um, how about Sloane. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," she returned unflinchingly.

"First dare of the night. Let's think… I dare you to tell us your life story. What's your family like? How did you end up on the Upper East Side?"

"That's more like truth, but I'm game," Sloane said. "Well, Dec and I were born sixteen years ago in Miami, Florida. Mom's second husband, my dad, flew the coop exactly eighteen months after our birth, never to be seen again. So my maniac of a mother almost immediately remarried and we moved to a lodge in Connecticut, where we lived until sometime around my fourth birthday, when he caught my mom cheating with the gardener and kicked us to the curb. And thus began the never ending cycle of fathers. Daddy Three, my father from ages four to six, had a big house in the Bahamas, but he was an alcoholic. Daddy Four, ages seven to ten, ran a successful law firm in Chicago but then left us to 'find his inner self and the peace within' or something. Daddy Five, ten to twelve, Salt Lake City, went to jail after assaulting the guy Mom was sleeping with. Daddy Six, who only lasted four months in Phoenix when we were thirteen, suffered a nervous break, claiming my mother was a 'crazy bitch who's incapable of love'. No argument there. Daddy Seven, thirteen to fifteen, San Diego, just disappeared one day. And Daddy Number Eight, with the big house in LA, lasted one year and divorced my mom to date his stewardess mistress. Despite having cheated on countless guys, Mommy dearest cannot believe anyone would do such a thing to her, so she picked up and moved us to New York City for a "fresh start". So basically, that's been my life."

Sloane stopped to drink some water before continuing. "You asked me to tell you about my family, and I think my life story pretty much tells you all there is to know about our mother, like that she's a dramatic, unlikable bitch, for example. I don't really have any relatives, though I do get five or six presents from all my fathers every year, so I guess I'll just tell you about Declan. My brother is the single greatest person I know. He is the only thing that keeps me from flying off the handle most of the time, and I love him more than anything. Admittedly, he's super shy, like borderline hermit shy, and he can be kind of a stick in the mud, but Dec's just about the sweetest guy ever. I am unaware of his current location, but when he comes back, I suggest you get to know him, because he's a really good person, but he's bad at making friends. Oh, and don't tell him I said any on this. And as for me? Well, I like to go to parties, I like wearing black, I like my brother, I like to watch movies, I like giraffes, and I like to read. Is that enough info or should I go on?"

The room was completely silent. Sloane looked around the table. "Is it my turn to pick a truth or dare?"

"Uh, yeah," Paige said after a while.

"Alright then, I choose you," Sloane answered.

"Okay then… dare."

Sloane grinned. "Kiss Teddy."

Paige turned bright red. "What? Why?"

"Cause I think you two look cute together and the whole point of truth or dare is to make people uncomfortable. Go. Let's see you plant one on him."

Paige took a deep breath, grabbed the sides of Teddy's face, and pressed her lips against his. Laurel just about died with the cuteness of it. After a solid four seconds, Paige and Teddy pulled apart abruptly sank back into their chairs, both looking shell-shocked and refusing to make eye contact.

"There Sloane, are you happy?" Paige choked.

"Extremely."

* * *

_I'm sorry to see the night end without a confrontation between L and W, who was missing for most of the evening, but despite this, I found this little get-together to be very revealing. Finally, we're able to get the truth on some of the rumors that have been flying around. Allow me to confirm or debunk some of the tips I've been getting from my loyal followers._

_The myth: "Henry chose Wes over Laurel because he thinks she deserves all she got"_

_The truth: FALSE. It seems that Baby Bass just wanted to stick with his best friend. How heartwarming._

_The myth: "The Beaumont's have some elaborate tragic back story"_

_The truth: TRUE. Yep, Sloane's little story was not quite a fairy tale. Daddy issues much?_

_The myth: "Paige and Teddy are totally going to get together"_

_The truth: UNKNOWN. Stay tuned for this one._


End file.
